I swear I could.
A week or so ago we stopped at the end of our day at some Flying J or Pilot truck stop. I cannot even recall what city or state we were in right now. Mark knows I prefer those two chains above the other big ones (TA/Petro and Loves) because they are almost always cleaner and newer in regards to the shower facilities.
But all that changed on this one fateful night. I was assigned shower eight and it was all the way down the end of the hallway, next to the janitor closet. I thought I heard that distinct first few notes of "Dueling Banjos" as I walked, and walked and walked until I got to the shower room.
Normally the rooms have one deadbolt lock once you use the code to open the door and go in. But not this backwoods bathroom. There were not one, not two, or three, but FOUR locks. A deadbolt, the door handle lock, and two of those swing arm style lock you see in hotels. I was a little shocked to see so much security and wondered exactly I had gotten into here.
Safely behind the Fort Knox-like security I set about unpacking my backpack. Normally at this point I turn on the water so it can start to heat up before I disrobe. Today was no different. However, the arm of shower dial to turn the water on was so tight I had to step into the shower to get more leverage. I made sure to turn the shower head toward the wall, so I would not get sprayed. Also, every other shower I have been in has those nice rainfall like shower heads. This one however was more like the rusty end of a garden hose. Or the kind in a murder shack type motel. At any rate, I aim it toward the wall so I can use all my muscles to get the water to even come on. So I tug and tug and suddenly the water shoots out, and of course because I so wisely turned it toward the wall, it hits the wall at full force. Ya know what happens when water hits a wall at full force? I do.
It ricochets off the wall all over the person standing in the shower, regardless of their state of undress, or dress as this case may have it.
The bathrooms all have a fan in them that you can run to keep the room from getting too foggy. I am sure this will shock you, but the fan in this barnyard bathroom did not work. I got out of the shower and wandered aimlessly through the fog. I get to the sink and in the foggy mirror someone has written, "GET OUT". OK so that part was made up but it would not have surprised me.
This was definitely the creepiest shower I have had since we have been on the road, and I hope this is as bad as it gets.