Friday, March 8, 2019

Can this all just be done now?

Hi.  How are you?  I hope you are doing great and that your February ended well and your March is off to a great start.

We are plugging along here.  Three times a week we have wound vac changes and the other days, we are just chilling.  Watching a lot of Netflix and searching for web for recipes (low fat, low sodium and low carb) that sound like they taste a step up from cardboard.  It's hard though.  Mark will eat just about anything but I have the palate of a four year old so that complicates things.  Anything that is too green, or two mushroomy, too oniony or too weird ingredients gets passed over.  So, I keep searching.

Mark is doing pretty well.  He is still in some moderate pain but compared to two weeks ago he is like a  new man!   Last night he had his first hit of phantom pain.  He was sleeping and woke up feeling like he stubbed his toe.  The home health nurse was here a little bit ago for his 7th wound vac dressing change.  It does get easier each time.  I am in awe of how quickly this thing is helping his toe to close up.  It's healing from the inside out and each time they uncover it the toe hole is filled in a bit more.  Right now its at about 80% closed.  We are HOPING that when we go back to see the doctor on the 18th she will take him off the VAC and let him go back to work.  At least, that is what we are hoping.  We check out of here on the 16th so it would be really great if I only have to worry about us finding a place to stay on Saturday and Sunday night and then be back in a truck by Monday night or Tuesday at best.  It's so hard for  me to not know how to plan and what to plan for.  Hoping on Monday that Dr Nanez will give us some idea of what to expect for the following week. 

I however am feeling very burnt out.  I am frustrated that he is still in pain.  I am tired because I do not sleep.  I am stressed because I want to make sure I am feeding him all the right things.  I am frantic worrying about money things and where we will stay for a couple nights (at best) if she releases him on the 18th or longer (at worst) if she doesn't.  I want to cry but I can't because I do not want to stress Mark out.  I was hoping to get to see a friend today for lunch but the Nurse didn't show up until 1:15 so I had to cancel.  The highlight of my days are if I have to run to WalMart.  I just cannot wait to get back on the truck and put this behind us.  I am 100% mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.

That's really all I have to say. 

We appreciate your continued prayers and well wishes.  It's helping.  He really is doing great!

Much love.

I have been HANGING on to these two things.

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